As a former chairman of HSBC, it was only a matter of time before David Eldon weighed in on the unseemly scrabbling for the crown of thistles. He seems to disapprove, 'though I'm not sure why, as one of the lessons that history has writ large for us in blood red letters is that so long as you insist on having a Scottish throne, you will get a lot of pretenders, young as well as old, bonnie as well as Robin Cook.
In a piece modestly entitled"HSBC: The Last Word" , the banker turned blogger reminisces about the old days playing rugger in the Middle East. Now Michael Geoghegan may be a bit of a bar steward with about as much tact as a Chinese trawler man in search of a photo opportunity, but he was just the sort of chap you wanted scrumming down between your legs when the balloon went up and Shell-Mex were three points ahead with a scrum on your five-yard line and just 60 seconds left on the clock.
It's difficult to know just how seriously to take Eldon's rant about "whispered half truths and appalling leaks", especially when he admits to grasping the chance to hear the latest tidbits of gossip himself when approached by a Caledonian Deepthroat in the Queen’s Road car park. The further I read into this piece, the more I was transported to the world of Yes. Minister, that classic unmasking of the fatal British trait of insouciant hypocrisy among the power-broking moneyed middle classes.
Among all the Dougging, Mikeing and Stuarting that functions not just to show that the writer remains, in his own eyes at least, in the fiscal loop, but also to forestall the raising of any serious questions by waving the magic wand of "good-chappery" over everything, Eldon shows his true colours with a coded, but nonetheless astonishing, Sir Humphrey Appleton style savaging of the former Goldman Sachs man and "fan (AKA shareholder) favourite",John Thornton .
The code is nowhere easier to break than in the careful designation of the multi-millionaire American as Mr. Thornton, delivered with a very British raising of the upper lip. If Doug, Mike and Stuart are the sweaty chaps in the front row, propping up the Beancounters XV, then "John" is very much the spotty boy spluttering into his hankie on the touch line with his sick note from matron in his hand.
"I see that already the focus has now changed slightly to the future role of Mr. Thornton with HSBC and the fact that he might himself step down. That, it seems, would be a pity from the perspective of some but if his skills were China related (forget the fact that he was an Investment Banker and an American - two issues that seem to have unsettled some), then I think there are plenty of others out there with good China credentials too."
There is so much of linguistic interest here that, as the psychiatrist once said of Basil Fawlty, "There’s enough material here for a whole conference". Take the first sentence, translation "That Yank bar steward is on his way out. YIPPEE!" Or the second, so rich that I will have to break it down into its constituents.
The Romans, dab hands at irony themselves – not unversed either, of course, in night-of-the-long-knives style strategising and machinations – reserved the two apparently innocuous words, "sunt qui", for their most damning put-downs, all the more effective for being so simple, so, well, British. Thus, "There are those [fill in with the word of your choosing: idiots, morons, liars, Americans, merchant bankers] who actually think that ..." Note how easily you could place any of these words after Eldon's "some", and the elegance of his phrasing becomes apparent.
Then there's the devastating bit which Eldon "hides" in brackets. Forget the fact that Mister Thornton was a Goldman's man and a Yank? Not on your life. At the going down of the sun and in the morning, he will remember him. As if he were dead. Which it seems (to borrow another of Eldon's magic words) Mr. Thornton is, to the writer at least, since his China-related skills (allowing that they exist, which the writer seems somewhat loath to grant) are referred to in the past tense.
Besides which, of course, "there are plenty of others out there with good China credentials too". Ouch! Like a latter-day Mark Antony, Eldon comes to bury, not to praise. And a damned fine job he does of it too.
In a piece modestly entitled
It's difficult to know just how seriously to take Eldon's rant about "whispered half truths and appalling leaks", especially when he admits to grasping the chance to hear the latest tidbits of gossip himself when approached by a Caledonian Deepthroat in the Queen’s Road car park. The further I read into this piece, the more I was transported to the world of Yes. Minister, that classic unmasking of the fatal British trait of insouciant hypocrisy among the power-broking moneyed middle classes.
Among all the Dougging, Mikeing and Stuarting that functions not just to show that the writer remains, in his own eyes at least, in the fiscal loop, but also to forestall the raising of any serious questions by waving the magic wand of "good-chappery" over everything, Eldon shows his true colours with a coded, but nonetheless astonishing, Sir Humphrey Appleton style savaging of the former Goldman Sachs man and "fan (AKA shareholder) favourite",
The code is nowhere easier to break than in the careful designation of the multi-millionaire American as Mr. Thornton, delivered with a very British raising of the upper lip. If Doug, Mike and Stuart are the sweaty chaps in the front row, propping up the Beancounters XV, then "John" is very much the spotty boy spluttering into his hankie on the touch line with his sick note from matron in his hand.
"I see that already the focus has now changed slightly to the future role of Mr. Thornton with HSBC and the fact that he might himself step down. That, it seems, would be a pity from the perspective of some but if his skills were China related (forget the fact that he was an Investment Banker and an American - two issues that seem to have unsettled some), then I think there are plenty of others out there with good China credentials too."
There is so much of linguistic interest here that, as the psychiatrist once said of Basil Fawlty, "There’s enough material here for a whole conference". Take the first sentence, translation "That Yank bar steward is on his way out. YIPPEE!" Or the second, so rich that I will have to break it down into its constituents.
The Romans, dab hands at irony themselves – not unversed either, of course, in night-of-the-long-knives style strategising and machinations – reserved the two apparently innocuous words, "sunt qui", for their most damning put-downs, all the more effective for being so simple, so, well, British. Thus, "There are those [fill in with the word of your choosing: idiots, morons, liars, Americans, merchant bankers] who actually think that ..." Note how easily you could place any of these words after Eldon's "some", and the elegance of his phrasing becomes apparent.
Then there's the devastating bit which Eldon "hides" in brackets. Forget the fact that Mister Thornton was a Goldman's man and a Yank? Not on your life. At the going down of the sun and in the morning, he will remember him. As if he were dead. Which it seems (to borrow another of Eldon's magic words) Mr. Thornton is, to the writer at least, since his China-related skills (allowing that they exist, which the writer seems somewhat loath to grant) are referred to in the past tense.
Besides which, of course, "there are plenty of others out there with good China credentials too". Ouch! Like a latter-day Mark Antony, Eldon comes to bury, not to praise. And a damned fine job he does of it too.
2 comments:
I read Eldon's piece several days ago and the only part that I remember is his bleating about his golden handshake.
Very strange that he should hang this particular article of dirty laundry in public. One only hopes he was more prudent when at the helm of HSBC.
Post a Comment