It seems that everyone at the Hong Kong Jockey Club wants to be a comedian. First, there was American Bill Nader, the director of racing, with his "race horsing" spoonerisms. Now it's the turn of the club's chief executive, Winfried Engelbrecht-Bresges (or "Hyphen", as he's known down Sports Road way), who's fond of quoting Winston Churchill's line about only trusting statistics you've made up yourself (full marks for honesty, by the way, Winnie, in a week when you, your chairman and your propaganda department are spouting more stats than an American football commentator on speed).
Winnie's latest gag is the one about the nag who ran at Royal Ascot. Thankfully, the gee-gee in question, Sacred Kingdom, can't talk, so after it was duly thrashed we were spared the kind of lame excuses for its performance that we have come to expect from the bipeds at the Jockey Club.
You'd have thought Winnie would have been delighted that none of Hong Kong's gamblers were able to lose their coat on Sacred Kingdom, which is what would have happened if the Jockey Club had got its way and broadcast the race, with accompanying betting. But, no, there's Winnie whinnying away in today's Standard about the disappointment felt by Hong Kong's unwashed hordes at the fact that they didn't have the chance to place, and lose in toto, their 10,000 dollar bets on a horse that came fifth. This they would have been delighted to do, it seems, as they love "to support their Hong Kong heroes taking on the world". Mmm, as Mark Richards might say.
If there's anyone on the Standard's staff I'd be willing to back to give me a laugh every time the stalls open and the hacks sally forth with their opinings, it's got to be the rag's composite editor, "Mary Ma". At a time when the Jockey Club is intensifiying its propaganda to almost Goebbelian levels, with full-page newspaper ads in the Chinese- and English-language press droning on about its philanthropy, Mary throws her weight behind the Club's two-pronged request for a) more race days (vital) and b) more televised broadcasts of overseas races [put forward to deflect attention from a)] like a mendicant at John Hung's prison cell, concluding her editorial as follows:
"Although there is a downside associated with more racing days, it should not be exaggerated. Instead, more weight should be given to the benefits that a few more racing cards and associated turnover can bring to society."
To discover one of the "benefits-cum-downsides" that allowing more people to gamble more of their money away on a Sunday afternoon can bring one has to look no further than p. 9 of Mary's paper, to a turgid item headlined "Drive for harmonious society unveiled". You see, by allowing more people to chuck away their money on horses like Sacred Kingdom, what you will get are more useless programmes like "FAMILY: A Jockey Club Initiative for a Harmonious Society".
The purpose of this HK$250 million plus project? To devise, in harness with gravy-trainers at Hong Kong University, "intervention strategies and programmes aimed at preventing family discords and promoting the '3Hs' – health, happiness and harmony".
You couldn't make this stuff up if you wanted to. Here's the Jockey Club encouraging people to gamble more so that they can use the money they gamble to intervene to stop them gambling so that they can stop fucking their families up. I'm not sure if you need to be German to come up with something as brilliantly efficient as that, but you sure do need a sense of humour.
Winnie's latest gag is the one about the nag who ran at Royal Ascot. Thankfully, the gee-gee in question, Sacred Kingdom, can't talk, so after it was duly thrashed we were spared the kind of lame excuses for its performance that we have come to expect from the bipeds at the Jockey Club.
You'd have thought Winnie would have been delighted that none of Hong Kong's gamblers were able to lose their coat on Sacred Kingdom, which is what would have happened if the Jockey Club had got its way and broadcast the race, with accompanying betting. But, no, there's Winnie whinnying away in today's Standard about the disappointment felt by Hong Kong's unwashed hordes at the fact that they didn't have the chance to place, and lose in toto, their 10,000 dollar bets on a horse that came fifth. This they would have been delighted to do, it seems, as they love "to support their Hong Kong heroes taking on the world". Mmm, as Mark Richards might say.
If there's anyone on the Standard's staff I'd be willing to back to give me a laugh every time the stalls open and the hacks sally forth with their opinings, it's got to be the rag's composite editor, "Mary Ma". At a time when the Jockey Club is intensifiying its propaganda to almost Goebbelian levels, with full-page newspaper ads in the Chinese- and English-language press droning on about its philanthropy, Mary throws her weight behind the Club's two-pronged request for a) more race days (vital) and b) more televised broadcasts of overseas races [put forward to deflect attention from a)] like a mendicant at John Hung's prison cell, concluding her editorial as follows:
"Although there is a downside associated with more racing days, it should not be exaggerated. Instead, more weight should be given to the benefits that a few more racing cards and associated turnover can bring to society."
To discover one of the "benefits-cum-downsides" that allowing more people to gamble more of their money away on a Sunday afternoon can bring one has to look no further than p. 9 of Mary's paper, to a turgid item headlined "Drive for harmonious society unveiled". You see, by allowing more people to chuck away their money on horses like Sacred Kingdom, what you will get are more useless programmes like "FAMILY: A Jockey Club Initiative for a Harmonious Society".
The purpose of this HK$250 million plus project? To devise, in harness with gravy-trainers at Hong Kong University, "intervention strategies and programmes aimed at preventing family discords and promoting the '3Hs' – health, happiness and harmony".
You couldn't make this stuff up if you wanted to. Here's the Jockey Club encouraging people to gamble more so that they can use the money they gamble to intervene to stop them gambling so that they can stop fucking their families up. I'm not sure if you need to be German to come up with something as brilliantly efficient as that, but you sure do need a sense of humour.
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