Friday, 31 October 2014

State Leadership Criticises Selina Chow for Electoral Impact Conments

It would take more than fair and free elections to get people to vote for that silly old cow

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Protesters Plan More Commemorative Events

Tomorrow we're having 119 seconds' silence for each of the disabled athletes CY managed to piss off

Monday, 27 October 2014

Chesterton's Take on Hong Kong

Well, it could so easily be:

"It is customary to complain of the bustle and strenuousness of our epoch. But in truth the chief mark of our epoch is a profound laziness and fatigue; and the fact is that the real laziness is the cause of the apparent bustle. Take one quite external case; the streets are noisy with taxicabs and motor-cars; but this is not due to human activity but to human repose. There would be less bustle if there were more activity, if people were simply walking about. Our world would be more silent if it were more strenuous." (Orthodoxy)

Part II tomorrow...

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Confucius Steps in to Defuse Kenny G Row

A people that is happy with crap muzak is a people that will be happy with crap government 

Thursday, 23 October 2014

Kenny G Denies Link with Democracy Protests

Look, I know as much about politics as I do about music

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Is Redemption Nigh for Leonard Cheng?

                                                Watch me fly!

And who, you might be asking, is Leonard Cheng? Well, from this evening for some time into the foreseeable future, if things go his way – in other words, if the students (including some of his own, of course) continue to ignore the High Court order to remove themselves from the streets of Mong Kok and Central – Leonard Cheng Kwok-hon, president of Lingnan University in deepest Tuen Mun, is set to be the new face of the moderate faction in the stunt-driven shenanigans that pass for serious political debate in these parts.

Some will say that Lenny is the perfect man for the job in pragmatic Hong Kong, as he has connections to both of the candidates for chief executive the last time the fake election circus rolled through town. His relationship towards the surprise (to some – but not readers of this blog) winner of that race, Leung Chun Ying, may be closer than his relationship with the also-ran, Henry Tang Ying Yen (who was after all disadvantaged by having other things on his mind), but, I ask you, who can put his hand up in an interview with Michael Chugani and say categorically, “No, I have never done anything stupid in my life, like agreeing to appear on your programme and get asked questions that are so inconvenient that the only way out is to lie”?

Anyway, enough about our scumbag chief executive and back to Len’s even-handed suitability for the mediator job at this evening’s “debate” between government officials and student leaders in Wong Chuk Hang. While his role as an adviser to CY Leung during his election campaign ensured that his career at Hong Kong’s least prestigious UGC-funded university got off to the shakiest possible start, what is less known is that he had a Henry Tang moment of his own. Not with one of the fillies (equine or otherwise), but with a basement – that must-have accessory of the rich, famous and lawless members of local society.

Lenny knocked down a few walls below ground at the Sai Kung house where he lived while doing his former job as dean of the rapacious School of Business and Management at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, a school which earned the nickname “Carlsberg” from some for having not – probably – the best beer in the world, but – probably – the most expensive undergraduate course in the world. In words resonating with our ’Enry’s curious mixture of obfuscation and self-pity, Lenny said last year when the hole came to light that he did not think increasing the living space of his abode by more than one-third “was illegal at that time” – whatever that might mean.

Success and fame have come late in life for Len, who turned 60 earlier this year. For those not familiar with the Machiavellian workings of local academia, Len’s appointment caused considerable surprise not only on account of his having been an associate of CY Leung but because his elevation from dean (quite a lowly rank in academic terms, in all truth – and typically a poisoned chalice to be passed on to the next gull as soon as possible) represented a double, or indeed treble, jump – almost unprecedented in appointments of this kind. People in high places (although CY has been chairman of the Council of Lingnan University in the past, the urbane insurance millionaire and Executive council member Bernard Charnwut Chan was helming the ship at the time of Len’s appointment) obviously thought that Lenny was made of the sort of stuff that justified passing over candidates who had cut their teeth as a vice president or associate vice president, as would normally be expected. Or, indeed, as president of an inferior institution in Hong Kong or overseas – although one appreciates that numbers in this sub-category might be small.

                         Students welcome Lennie (2013)

Which brings us to yesterday and the congregation at which nearly a thousand Lingnanians had various degrees and diplomas conferred upon them. The placards were out in force once more, as they were last year for his introduction as president, together with the inevitable umbrellas.

               Former students serenade Lenny with brollies (2104)

It was not our Len who received the hottest reception of the day, though, but former secretary for Commerce and Economic Development Frederick Ma Si Hang, who showed up to get his gong (an honorary doctorate in social sciences) but received heckles rather than plaudits from those in attendance when he, perhaps unwisely, decided to impart some of the wisdom he has accumulated over the years since he was a callow youth at the University of Hong Kong being taught economics by Edward Chen Kwan Yiu – former Lingnan president.

I bet Fred thought he was quoting Voltaire when, adopting his best Churchillian tone, he told the cream of Tuen Mun’s youth that he would “defend to the death your right to speak”. Alas, no. These words were never uttered by the dissident Frenchman, but were invented by an Edwardian English gentlewoman by the name of Evelyn Beatrice Hall to spice up her book The Friends of Voltaire.

Inventions, lies? Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, as those Frenchies say.

Saturday, 18 October 2014

Hong Kong Umbrella Movement Strikes Back

                    We don't want the fight to become pointless

Friday, 17 October 2014

Student Leaders Vow to Erect and Worship at New Shrine

                                    The new one will be a mirror

Thursday, 16 October 2014

Ken Tsang Breaks Silence after Police Beating

                                     Can I keep the wheelchair?

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Spirit of Mao Invoked as CCP Give Verdict on Umbrella Movement

Stability is bliss, and turmoil brings havoc. Think Chinese Civil War, think Great Leap Forward, think Cultural Revolution, think Beijing Massacre. They all worked for us...

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Students Mount New Production of Les Mis

Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?

Thursday, 9 October 2014

Only One Item on Agenda for Protest Leaders

Constitutional reform must wait while we discuss the really important issue– how we can come out of the forthcoming splits looking better than the other sides

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Hong Kong Students Issue Ultimatum

We will answer no questions until more cameras arrive

Monday, 6 October 2014

Hong Kong Students Issue Fresh Demand

We demand that CY Leung reverses the verdict about the right to use cliches and carry out stunts

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

CY Leung Gives Reason for Withdrawing Riot Police

There was a little confusion - half of them thought they were supposed to be controlling a riot, the other half that they were meant to be having a riot

Monday, 29 September 2014

CY Leung Dismisses Minibus and Taxi Blockade Comparisons

We all need to remember that blockades of the roads by taxis and minibuses are completely different. They are run by triads, and the triads have tradionally enjoyed a close working relationship with the Chinese government

Saturday, 27 September 2014

Hong Kong Police Explain Need for Full-length Riot Shelds

We must be ready to protect ourselves from the rocks that our plain-clothed colleagues may throw at us

Thursday, 25 September 2014

SCMP Puts Latest Gaffe down to Too Much Wanking*

A headline in today's SCMP online:

'Women's low sex drive blamed for falling birth rate'

The article begins:

'Lack of a satisfactory sex life among women has been singled out as a reason for Hong Kong's low fertility rate.'

A woman's sex drive is her urge to seek satisfaction of her sexual needs. A woman's sex life is her sexual activity and relationships considered in toto. They are different.

Like this:

and this:

are different.

Got it now?

* Well, it's also got something to do with sex.

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Mata Offers Advice to Rooney

There's no need to put your 'and in front of your face. No one can understand you anyway.